Have you ever thought about how you’d respond if your ability to be independent were to be unexpectedly taken away from you?
The word independence is synonymous with self-sufficiency, self-reliance, self-support and self-subsistence. Interested that all words began with “self”, my curiosity got the best of me and a quick search on Google gave me the following two definitions for self:
- Belonging to oneself (Merriam Webster)
- A person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality “one’s own self” (Dictionary.com)
Merriam Webster defines independent as not requiring or relying on others; not subject to control by others.
Everyone yearns to be self-dependent, where we depend only on ourselves.
Children learn this at an early age, their fingers tightly wrapped around a toy, holding it ever so close to their body with the words “mine” coming from their mouths as another child (or adult) tries to take it away. If a child wants to play with the toy now then they will play with the toy now!
Regaining the independence you once had is a strong desire among those who have sustained a traumatic brain injury. After I sustained mine I spent countless hours in brain injury rehabilitation therapy trying to relearn things where there was never any guarantee of the outcome that I so greatly wanted to see. I was recently reminded of just how important of a journey this is after interacting with other brain injury survivors during my weekly volunteering work at the brain injury rehabilitation ward of a hospital.
Motivation and determination are strong traits that many of us possess.
We often celebrate successes with a large smile, feeling a huge sense of accomplishment. Sadly, this emotion did not always resonate as strongly in me as I would have liked it to. Not until I’d lost the ability to do many things that I had so easily taken for granted that is.
Today I spoke to two brain injury patients who were both celebrating their own personal accomplishments. For one patient it meant he no longer needed to be restrained to a wheelchair as he’d regained enough mobility that he could now walk with a stroller. For another it meant she no longer needed help to be fed as she had regained the strength in her arm and hand to lift the fork up to her mouth. While both of these are very simple they are symbolic of personal independence in its truest sense.
Photo Credit: First Last
I love long hot showers and sometimes have difficulty pulling myself out even when my body is starting to show signs its expiry date is quickly approaching! Hey, I pay my own water bill, no harm done, right?
My enjoyment of long showers has a lot to do with the memory that will forever be etched in my mind of what a shower was like when I was in acute care after sustaining a traumatic brain injury.
The formula was quite simple: shower time for Denise = 1 female nurse (am all for gender equality in the workplace, however, declined having a shower the one time a male nurse reported for duty!) + 1 waterproof apron, rubber boots and gloves for said nurse + an adjustable shower bench located in the shower stall.
I had no mobility or strength to even get out of the bed on my own so relied on the nurse to transfer me from the bed into the wheelchair and bring me to the shower. I was then disrobed and positioned on the shower bench where I would remain seated the entire time. The nurse then assumed position behind me with the showerhead in hand and after getting the water to the right temperature she would begin moving it over me. When the shower ended, I would be assisted in drying myself off and then helped back to the bed. Once there I would lay back in exhaustion and rest.
You look at life much differently and through a different set of eyes when you’re able to regain the ability to do the simplest of things.
This experience taught me the hard way that I had taken many things in life for granted, small things that I simply didn’t think much of throughout the day.
Today at the end of each day I always jot down five things that I am grateful for and often times it’s the smallest of things that put a smile on my face. Today I was able to walk outside in the sunshine and breathe in the fresh scent of fall in the air – this will be on my list! There are gifts in all of our days if we are open to seeing them.
What is one thing in your life that you are grateful for today and will no longer take for granted?
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